Monday, June 15, 2009

11 weeks

The only reason he's so happy in the carseat in this picture is because he had recently woken up from his nap. Otherwise, he HATES it and screams! :)

Lewis and two favorite men!


More dimples! He gets them from his Daddy!

His BUMBO seat...he lasts about 15 minutes in it!

Britton is 11 weeks!
I enjoy my boy sooo much! I was just thinking this morning how hard and exhausting the first couple of weeks were. Granted, I was new to this "mama" thing and I was having breastfeeding and joint issues, but it seems so long ago, and I know it really wasn't. I also remember thinking I would never get to do normal things again, like laundry, cleaning the house, or leaving the house to run errands/go out. Ha! Today, it seems silly that I ever has those thoughts. We adapt and go with the flow.

Sure, our life has changed, but it's for the better. I sometimes stare at Britton and cannot believe he is mine. I can't believe Lewis and I created him. I can't believe that a little part of my DNA exists outside of me. But he's real and he's ours and I can't believe how much love there is in my heart for this little boy! I inhale his scent every day and kiss him to bits!

I see some of my nuances in him and I see some of Lewis' as well. He flares his nostrils like me and his Tia Karol. He smiles like his Uncle Ricky. He has his daddy's eyes and dimples and Lewis' serious looks. I know as he gets older I will see more Franco and Brown in him.

As cliche as this sounds, it is so awesome to see something new from him every day. I look forward to his rolling over, to him sitting up, to his crawling, walking, his first word, his first tooth, his first taste of solids...the list goes on and on. I can't wait to see the thrill in his eyes when he sees the ocean for the first time, the look on his face when he feels sand on his chubby feet, the light in his eyes when he sees Christmas lights, the pure joy in his heart when he sings and dances, the total feel of trust when he reaches for my hand and lays his sweet head on my shoulder.

I am fighting an inner battle about going back to work. I want to go back because 1) I love my job and 2) I am tired of being on such a strict budget. I want some more wiggle room!

But then I want to cry when I think I may miss some of Britton's important moments. And I have this irrational fear that he will forget me or what I look like while I am gone! And this may sound arrogant, but I don't think anyone can take care of him as well as I can. I know his cues, I know his "loose schedule", I know how he like things. I know the little tricks that work and what doesn't.

I can technically be off until mid October 2009. I think I most likely will go back in mid-August. We shall see.

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